Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
