after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
