A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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