You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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