Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize