she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
