i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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