oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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