Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You smell like stripper and shame
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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