you win again, gameday.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
