Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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