Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he shaved USA in his pubs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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