Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
