Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
