it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize