I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
