you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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