Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
