Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Drunk is not a location!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
