first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
