dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this will be a night to untag.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
