...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
