"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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