He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
