Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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