mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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