Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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