ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
