How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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