ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
