my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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