Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
