you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize