the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
