the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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