it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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