i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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