i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
