the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
