bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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