Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
foreskin is a definite game changer
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize