Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
