I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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