It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
