I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
These tits shall not be calmed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
