got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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