Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
