Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
