I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize