Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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