the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
