Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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