I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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