is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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