yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
