I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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