My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you had me at cake vodka
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
