What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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