i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
