I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
