Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
