3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Me too!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize