yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
