I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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