I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
