Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
