I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
