i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The police scanner is talking about you again....
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
