If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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