Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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