watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
