Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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