Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
