He is an equal opportunity slut.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize