she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize