Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
